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You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.NICKNAMES- If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.- If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.EATING OUT- When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.- When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.MONEY- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.BATHROOMS- A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.- The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more. Yes sir, she replies gasping for breathe. Bring her over here and hook her up Tonya, I say grinning wickedly at her.Tonya and Ryan uncuff Pam and hook her arms into the rig, so that her arms are raised above her head, then re-cuff her her wrists, and raise the apparatus so that her toes barely brush the floor. Her leash is thrown over a board, to give it more leverage. She is not bad looking for a woman of 45. Short blond hair, her large tits are just beginning to sag slightly, she has a little wear and tear on her, but she is remarkably taught for a woman her age. She glares at me as I walk over and pick up a thin dial rod and hand it to Tony.I'm going to go over your list of offenses, you will answer yes sir after each offense, and then the members of our jury will decide you punishment, I say waving an all encompassing hand around the room again. After your punishment you will beg Amber for forgiveness, if she forgives you we will move onto the next charge in the list, if not.
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