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"Well from what I can see you understand quite a bit about the ladies David," she said, looking at the picture on the screen "and I think you're just what I need." David still looked puzzled. "I still don't understand," he said."Well David," Mrs. Russell said, "how much do you know about me?" David had known Mrs. Russell all his life, she'd lived next door since before he was even born. "Well I know you're my Mom's best friend but that's about it," he replied. "Well did you know that my husband suffers from E.D?" "E.D.?" David asked, "what's that?" Mrs. Russell smiled. "Well David, it means he can't get an erection." David was shocked that Mrs. Russell was sharing such intimate information with him. "Uh, no, I didn't, why would I?" "Well did you know that when a lady gets to my age, her sex drive is at it's strongest?" Again David was shocked but before he could reply, Mrs. Russell stood up and stepped infront of him and lifted the hem of her dress and David was amazed to see that. . because you're young enough for ballpoints ... exactly what an ink pen ruler is ... I'm gonna tell you, pay attention lest I smack you with one.In days of yore, before some some wise guy printed lines on school paper, students had to line their own paper for penmanship class ... and reports ... and writing punishment sentences to remind themselves of transgressions never to be repeated.Ink pens have a handle similar to the old goose quill, without the feathers, that was the writing instrument of necessity back in the stone age... 1800. The French claim to have invented a steel nib and holder that saved countless naked geese from freezing to death. A nib ... the metal point ... is inserted into the pen holder and the resulting writing implement is dipped in ink. Now the writer has something with which to write. If a wooden ruler is placed on paper and the pen is used to draw straight lines the pen is absolutely going to hang up on the wood and splatter ink all over.Again, some.
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