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Napolean sent me these audio interviews called “David DeAngelo’s Interviews With Dating Gurus,” so I uploaded them onto my Ipod and played a few during my drives to work, which was better than listening to the Black Eyed Peas-infested radio. With the exception of a handful of interviewees, every “dating guru” sounded like a total dork, including David DeAngelo (who claims that one time he put an “L” on his forehead and mouthed the words “loser” to a girl, and she found him attractive). What gave these guys “expert” status made no sense to me. I will admit, however, that there was some interesting stuff on there. One of the gurus described a tactic in which he’d program his phone number under the name “Sex God” into girls’ phones. Though it’d been over a year since I heard that particular interview, while talking with a hefty 31-year-old blonde at Woody’s, I applied the technique hoping all that time spent in the car listening to these hopeless bozos would yield some results. Her name. ‘What in the world?’ Carly asked as she stopped walking and turned to look at her friend. ‘Are you okay?’ Rachel asked. ‘I’m better than okay!’ Ayla said. Her friends looked at each other, eyebrows raised, wondering what had gotten their friend so excited. ‘What’s up?’ Rachel wanted to know. ‘Shane asked me to marry him!’ Ayla exclaimed. ‘And!?’ Rachel and Carly prompted. The girls screeched loudly when Ayla held out her left hand, revealing a simple but elegant opal ring that was encircled with glittering diamonds in a tasteful white gold setting. ‘Oh my God Ayla!’ Rachel’s voice was quivering with her excitement for her friend. ‘I’m so happy for you!’ Carly exclaimed. ‘You aren’t pregnant again are you?’ Rachel asked suddenly. Her words had the same effect that dumping a bucket of ice water over someone’s head. ‘No Rache, I’m not pregnant,’ Ayla answered, some of her excitement slipped away. ‘I’m sorry Ayla,’ Rachel said softly. ‘I didn’t mean …’ ‘I know Rache, it’s fine. I’m.
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