The thought of my "old self" is one of them. I feel like I am going to be sick. I roll onto my side hugging myself. I can't help it. Sometimes the thoughts come. A girl who used to be my best friend put this particular thought in my brain. I don't remember her name even though we both came here together. Oh!!! Another tummy cramp. "I'm sorry daddy."I'll tell the truth. The truth is that I can remember her name if I let myself. I just try to block it out of my mind. I try not to think of her name because if I do I get the cramps again. It's just that it is so darn impossible sometimes. I haven't seen her since they took her away one night from the room next door. She was struggling and shouting and trying to fight the attendants. Some of the girls didn't bother to get up, but I recognized her voice and was curious what was happening. I walked lazily to the doorway. It was very hard to watch. She wouldn't obey them. They finally had to use some kind of device with a small. "Apparently we got too close to him, but that was the extent of it." When Alice glanced at Mattie, she too shrugged, as if it was an embarrassment to even complain about it.Alice had to agree, she'd also encountered the occasional shot, that was always alarming but that never actually hit anything, apparently having been shot into the air merely to warn anyone that the people didn't want to be found. She still eyed her father cautiously, but avoided the topic for then, not sure how she'd change their approach in any way in order to avoid those events."You know, there are probably more survivors than we're aware of," Monique suggested. "There seem to be all these people that don't want to be found, and the ones that we've encountered could easily double our current survival estimates. If we added in those that we haven't met, it might change a lot of our calculations." She's got a point," Melissa nodded in agreement. "All those animals you've been counting to determine survival.
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