The shame was onlymaking me hornier."Why can't we..." but I stopped the question in mid-sentence and triedto rephrase it. "Will we never be able to... Won't I ever be able toput my...."Again I stopped. I couldn't say it out loud. Not with the voice of agirl."I'm sorry," she repeated and she sounded truly regretful. Then, in anupbeat and consoling tone, she said, "I know what to do! You needsomeone to tell you to cum. You need me to give you permission.Right?" Yes," I answered and the next moment I looked down. I was playing withmyself again. "Yes, I need that more than anything right now, Lauren.Please!"I knew even as I said it how pathetic I sounded, which, in turn, onlydrove me more crazy with lust."Here, let me," she said, and she reached over to my cock, grabbed itbetween her thumb and index finger (both of which were bigger than thecock itself) and began to jack me off."Please keep doing that!" I cried, looking down at the dainty way shewas masturbating me. It was. I would mask my true feelings - for a couple of reasons - for one thing I didn't want anyone to suspect that I was a queer, and also, I didn't want to scare the guys off. I was really in denial at the time, but one thing I learned was: you simply can NOT hide what you are! No matter how hard you try, your true nature will leak out. That's why everywhere I've ever gone in my life, the suspicion that I was a faggot always was there - even when I was still married to my sexy Filipina wife Dani!Of course, at home I was a secretly crossdressing ladyboi behind my wife's back. Eventually having a sexy wife wasn't enough! I wanted to live vicariously through Dani, so I began to subtly encourage her in the direction of having a boyfriend. The idea came to me when, during one of our sex sessions, she mentioned that it wasn't uncommon for married women in the Philippines to have a boyfriend. The very idea sent thrill waves all over me! I see now that even then Dani realized that I was not the.
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