. this was an opportunity to do it right.All I needed to do was decide what would make it right.Fuck!I was a forty-two-year-old woman trapped in my seventeen-year-old body. My head knew all kinds of things jumbled together in a mad chaos of experience and inexperience. I’d spent twenty-five years saying, ‘If I had it to do over again... ‘ And now here I was. The problem was that my seventeen-year-old self was still subject to seventeen-year-old hormones, conditioned responses, and peer pressure.Sometime over the past two decades, I’d come to realize that I’d been raped. That realization came slowly as I came to grips with having woken up still partially drunk and not remembering anything that happened. I’d begun by thinking my one little drink had really hit me a lot harder than I thought. Maybe I’d had more than one? How many drinks did it take to knock me out so I couldn’t remember what happened? I just knew I hadn’t had that many.That left drugs.When I finally came to that. " Oh thank you darling," Ginger said in a mock societal way.Ginger stood there with her wrist hanging limp with her husband for amoment. Ginger could tell Emily was not pleased with her son's choice ina wife. Ginger swayed back and forth gently in her heels while Roberttalked. Ginger untied the head scarf and pulled it from over the haircurlers. Though Emily was talking to her son, she was watching Ginger asshe exposed the head full of brush curlers she was wearing."I have a hair dryer, if you need to use it. I'm sure you don't likewalking around with all those curlers in your hair, I know I wouldn't,"Emily said thing how tacky it was to wear hair curlers to someone's houselike this."Oh Emily that's so sweet of you darling, but my hair is about dry," shesaid patting it with her palms, "I was just thinking about wetting itagain with water and a spray bottle, and I really have no problemswearing curlers in my hair in public. I sometimes have Robert set my hairin curlers before I go to.
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