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The pain was indescribable. It was more excruciating than anything I’d felt before. I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing but a pathetic whimper escaped.My eyes began to roll back as my entire body cringed and contorted. Then, a second later, it vanished, leaving only an echo of pain behind.I gasped as I finally regained my senses. Now back in control of my body, I brought my hands up and pushed the man back as hard as I could. As he stumbled backward into the street, I leapt into my car, started the ignition and sped off.My heart, riddled with fear, pounded violently in my chest. I had no idea what just happened, but all that mattered was that it was over. I took what felt like my first breath in forever as I drove away and ignored every stop sign on my way home.I threw myself onto my bed. I felt drained.Every ounce of energy and anticipation had long since fled my body, leaving only exhaustion and bad memories.I was so ready to have my cherry popped only to have my hopes brutally. In those cases, I’d had a clear goal in mind, and once I’d committed to it, I’d stuck with it. There was no reason I couldn’t do it again. Well, except for temptation, to which I knew I was very susceptible.And that took me back to having a traveling companion as a safety net. An image of Eve and me in bed together flashed through my mind, though I quickly banished that to the fantasy storage area! Going in circles wasn’t useful, and I wondered how else I could get out of the cycle. And, perhaps more importantly, convince everyone close to me that I SHOULD get out of cycle and that it wouldn’t be detrimental to my emotional or mental health.There were several people I needed to talk with, but first and foremost, I needed to talk with Jennifer. While Melanie had started the sequence of events that had led to my behavior, I really couldn’t have the conversation with her which I needed to have with Jennifer. Once I had Jennifer’s advice, I’d seek Elyse’s opinion, and THEN speak with.
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