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Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away they went to a McDonalds where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate milkshake.Then it was off to the movies: the latest Kiddies three hour epic cartoon, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, her favourite lolly andM&Ms!What a fabulous adventure!Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed onto the bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked 'Well dear, what was it like being eight again?'Her eyes slowly opened and her expression changed to one of total realisation... 'I meant my dress size, you f****ing idiot!!!'The moral of this story: Even when a man is listening, he's still gonna get it wrongThese are compliments of MikeyHOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERSActual excerpts from hospital charts(Parenthetical thoughts are mine.)1. The patient refused autopsy. (Wouldn't you?)2. Patient has left white blood cells at. She taunted me, and teased me, but I wanted my zapper back and she would not relent. Basically, she got careless, and left me alone for fifteen minutes as one of her friends had a "massive crisis" with her on-off boyfriend and reception on her old mobile phone was not good enough inside my garage; she stepped outside.Inside five minutes I had soldered the components I needed onto a small piece of stripboard, along with a battery connector and an on/off switch before stashing it carefully in the waste paper basket. Maisie eyed me suspiciously on her return, apologising for her brief departure and said nothing as I placed the rubbish bag in the "black bin" in my garden, for retrieval later. Which I did.I had a few ideas, but her traumatised friend had requested some support that weekend; she ran a Sunday league football team and a number of the players had been incapacitated with a bug that left them requiring additional footballers. Maisie volunteered and my new zapper went with us.
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