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But never mind, practice makes perfect, and with nearly a fortnight in the Seychelles to improve my game I was sure to be landing my balls squarely on her fairway, and sinking birdies into her holes. You've probably guessed I don't play golf, but can maybe understand the analogy I'm attempting.We managed another bout of rumpty pumpty, or 'cheating', as Gemma named our shagging episodes, a few days after the first, substandard session. It was marginally better, and I was looking forward to continuous improvement when we jetted off on a 10 p.m. flight from Heathrow to the Seychelles on the 23 December. We had a change of aircraft, and a 4 hour layover, at Abu Dhabi before flying onto Victoria on Mahé Island. We then transferred to a puddle jumper to fly from Victoria to Praslin Island, and it was late afternoon on Christmas Eve before we collapsed in a heap in our hotel suite in Praslin.We had flown club class and had managed to stretch out during the flights; the poor sods in cattle. I skinned every single lion, including the little ones and I removed every tooth and claw. I wasn't so starved for trophies, but I figured I could surely use them for trading after I'd made contact with other humans.In fact, I wasn't sure Neanderthals or Cro-Magnons were technically human. I thought they were close enough for comfort though.The great cave lion massacre and its aftermath polished off the remains of the day. It was slightly after sunset by the time I had them all toothless, clawless, and nude. I still needed to build some racks to stretch the skins on and then do the actual attachment and stretching, but I wasn't about to do it at night.After building a big fire and laying out a normal one person sleeping bag I'd nearly had to fight Rose to buy, I lay down and told myself I should wake at the slightest noise. I kept telling myself until I drifted off, hoping my subconscious would take care of the details.Did it ever. The saving grace was the scent of the lions, or I.
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