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Love, Medusa Dear? Medusa:My wife, furiousthat I told her to quit smoking,? has begun me in a new training..she wants me to become an ashtray! She and her boyfriendhave started using me as an ashtray. I really think that this is unhygienic. Ifeel like I?m nothing now. Don?t you think there should be some limits? Signed,Butted Out. Perhaps youshould have kept your trap shut, Buttsy! Endure, mydarling...and good luck with your healthy lungs!Love, Medusa Dear Medusa XJones: I have discoveredthe most marvelous entertainment for my gay friends when they come for tea onSundays. I have my husband Burke come out on his hands and knees, and taketurns sucking each of them off! First Burke crawlsup to Rusty, my hairdresser, and he begs to unzip Rusty's pants. Rusty usually laughs at poor Burke, as Burke looks a littleridiculous, naked except for his CB-200 and ballet slippers and bright red nailpolish on his fingers and toes. Burke is the highschool football coach, and is quite muscular and. What can I do then, Pam. There arent any boys my age that I ever can be alone with, she complained, bending forward and giving me a long glimpse of her luscious breasts. I cant help you there, Honey, I said. I could go to prison for decades for just assisting you. Im taking a chance by not reporting Scott, and Im just doing that, because I dont want to subject you to your mothers rage. I do sympathize with you, and wish I could help. Probably, some opportunity will come around. So if you could go to prison for not reporting Scott, then I could blackmail you into helping me? she asked. I must have turned pale, because she immediately stepped over to the sofa and grabbed my hand. That was just a joke. Im sorry. I couldnt ever do that to you. I thought you knew that. Youve been so nice, when you had no reason to be. I do so appreciate what you are doing for me. I would do anything for you. As she uttered what might have been interpreted as an invitation, she backed away realizing how.
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