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I did assure her that there was nothing I would rather do than experience spring in Italy with her. I hit "send" noting it was after midnight in Italy and shut the computer down, turning my seat to face the girls, and we were soon laughing together, their eyes bright with excitement. Diane brought me a perfectly cooked steak and a glass of California Zin.When we arrived at Dallas Executive Airport on the southwest side of Dallas, the evening weather was far from balmy. It was warmer than Chicago, but the night sky was overcast and there was a chill wind from the north. As we taxied to a large hanger I spotted two new-looking silver Suburbans parked under the lights at the back of the hanger. Grace said she'd meet us, but I hardly expected a man and a tall woman dressed in dark suits standing outside the SUV's. They were security or cops - that was obvious. For a moment, my heart skipped as the thought of imminent arrest crossed my mind. Had I been unmasked? At that point the man. Without drawing attention to the fact I was pretty gay.He instigated it, asking If he could suck me, and I had been thinking the same thing all night. But like so many curious heterosexual friends, I think he treated me like a needy object to be used in a drunken experiment and then discarded.Most of my early experiences with the same-sex involved so much shame. My first thoughts on discovering my bisexuality was the feeling that I had essentially won the sexual lottery. I remember almost beaming about it to one of my girlfriends, and her being excited and already picking out a man for me to suck in front of her at the next party. Thank you for hearing about teenage Sam.But there were plenty of other people with more vocal and visceral opinions. I think identifying as gay for a few years became almost an act of peer pressure, not wanting to admit that I’d never really been able to make much of any opportunity.I met my wife on a Craigslist post looking for someone to go out to the gay.
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