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How To Give a Cat a Pill1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand.Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's. The story never quite came out and called the Defenders a con job, but there was plenty of innuendo that sounded like it.Heather saw red all over the place. Right at the moment, if she'd had the AK-47 that that girl had taken to the Halloween Party, she could have cleaned out the Record-Herald office single-handedly. They could hate her all they wanted, but questioning the Defenders was something else.Madder than hell, she stormed out of the apartment, without even grabbing her coat, still wearing the torn and saftey-pinned pants from almost a week before. She looked for her car, and realized that she hadn't bothered to pick it up from the Sunoco station, yet. The Record-Herald office was only a few blocks away; she'd walk.A few minutes later, she stormed into the office, past the counter, and into McMahon's office. "Did you write this piece of shit?" she asked."There's nothing there that isn't the truth," Mike said. He'd been expecting this call, and, in fact, had wondered a little.
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