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“Anything else?” asked the officer.The monkey mimed a kiss.“They were kissing too?”The monkey nodded his head.“So,” said the officer, “you’re saying they were drinking, smoking and kissing before they crashed the car?”The monkey nodded.“And what were you doing while all this was going on?”“Driving,” mimed the monkey.A couple were driving home late at night in the pouring rain when their car accidentally ran over a badger. They got out of the car to see whether it was still alive, and found that although it was very cold, the animal was still breathing. “What shall we do?” said the wife. “I know,” said the husband. “Put it between your legs to warm it up.” “But it’s all wet and it stinks!” “Well, cover the badger’s nose then!”A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some condoms. She asks, “What size please?” “Good question,” he replies, “ I’m not sure,” “Tell ya what. Right outside, there’s a fence with three holes in it, stick your dick in the holes and tell me which. I had once fucked an ex of his that he was not happy about, jump 13 years later we are both married, my wife is much hotter than his and his turned a bit plump as well. His wife and k**s went on a vacation and he had to stay behind for work so on the Friday night I invited him over for dinner as he was alone. Dinner went well and I could see my wife was very flirty with my brother, which I did not mind as I enjoy her flirting. After dinner she suggested we go sit in the Jacuzzi and I immediately knew what she had in mind. She waited for the two of us to get in the Jacuzzi and brought us drinks. I jokingly told her to get undress and get in and that is exactly what she did. Undressing slow in front of us making sure we keep our eyes on her until she was totally naked there in front of us. Well at that stage I was rock hard and ready to do her there in front of my brother. Well she had other ideas, as I wanted to pull her closer she just pushed me back and said “you just sit and watch”.
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