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Rather than abuse it, use it up and destroy it He knows how to build on it, push it, stretch it and polish it until it is exactly to his liking. If He wishes to treat me like a slave He will and I often fantasize about a time when I will be able to live as his 24/7 slave for days at a time. If He wishes to abuse my body He will and I love to endure the pain that turns him on and to see and feel the marks he leaves me. I know that He will never abuse the gift of my submission. I don't have a safe word unless for a specific scene he decides I need one. That gives me the space to relax, let him take full control and develop as his sub. This too is beautiful. Being his sub gives me a deep sense of contentment. A feeling of being "at home". When I think about it it makes me aroused and wet. When I reflect for longer (like now) I can feel a pressure in my chest which is the bundled up feelings and overwhelming devotion. I am his sub and will do whatever He asks me to do whenever he asks. 400-hitting ballplayer." Well. I was, for awhile, there." Doc says your vision's fine." Yeah. He thinks it's all in my head." What do you think?" Well, I think it must be all in my head. I see the ball ok, and I don't -- consciously -- bail out on it, at all. But I've pretty much quit hitting." It's only been -- what? A few games, right?" Six games. I've got -- like -- four hits, all singles, in six games -- something like that." By your standards, that's not so good." That's right. I'm hitting .230 for the six games." You seeing a shrink?" Not yet. Doc says that might help, long-term, but there's nothing I can expect from those guys, overnight. I mean, they prescribe drugs, and stuff, but drugs aren't an answer to this kind of problem, I don't think." Did he tell you anything about what I do?" No. He just said you weren't -- a professional shrink. But he said you'd helped some people." Yeah. Here's the chili."The chili Macs came in huge, thick white bowls, with the macaroni all mixed.
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