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Later that evening, his chief security officer approaches him and says, “Well Mr. President, we have some bad news and we have some really bad news. Which do you want first?”Trump says, “Give me the bad news first.”The officer says, “Well, we took a sample of the urine and tested it. The results just came back, and it was Mike Pence’s urine.”Trump says, “Oh my god, I feel so ... so ... betrayed! My own vice president! Damn ... Well, what’s the really bad news?”The officer replies, “Well Mr. President, it’s Melania’s handwriting.”Donald Trump calls Angela Merkel’s office.Her secretary answers.Trump asks, “What’s the time difference between Washington and Berlin?”The secretary replies, “Just a second, Mr. President...”Trump: “Thanks.”A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Trump fans.Not really knowing what a Trump fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.The teacher asked Little Johnny why he’d decided. I think you're right, Jack. I think that's where we're supposed to go." She pointed."Annie," Jack said, taking ahold of her wrist. "What if ... I mean, de Sade was a sick guy. He originally ended up in prison because he poisoned some women for fun." But that's not a prison, Jack. It's an insane asylum. He's there because he's sick in a different way."Jack was not convinced. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "Oh, man. I know we're going to regret this." Maybe," Annie said. "Maybe not." She started down the rope ladder. Jack sighed, knowing there was no way he could stop her from scrambling into the mission head-first once she was determined to go.He had always thought of them as 'missions'. The Librarian had said, the first time they had met, that she had had no intention of using small children to accomplish her goals. She had said that Jack and Annie had 'forced' the decision upon her by stumbling upon her treefort and one of her magical books. Jack had never regretted his.
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