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My big mouth got me into this particular mess. My primary care doctor was asking me all kinds of questions, just two weeks after Jenn’s accident. He just kept pushing and I just burst out without thinking that I felt like ending it all, if he didn’t stop asking questions. Dr. Cole misinterpreted the hint as a cry for help and told me it was weekly sessions with a psychologist or an inpatient psych evaluation. That got me these sessions with Dr. Atkins, and today was the second to last mandated one. It’s not like I tell her anything anyway. I just tell her what she wants to hear “everything is awesome” and she eats it up and tells me I’m progressing. What bullshit…Dr. Atkins’ office was different than what I expected a psychiatrist’s office to be. No couch, or lounger. Just four comfy brownish modern living room furniture chairs in a semi-circle with an impressive dark wood modern office desk to the side. She always sat down in the chair opposite me and always waited for me. She would not back down fromthis, if I fought her choice we would have a blazing row. She rarelyused it, this was serious. And she didn't want me in a hospital?"Erik, listen to 'Jita. You gotta discharge yourself and come home."Shit. Jenny was with her in this? Dread flooded through me as I lookedbetween the two. My eyes were blurred. That'll be from the punch to mynose. Honest. Their expressions were mirrors of concern and resolve.Whatever was going on with me, they clearly knew more than I did. Icoughed as a spasm constricted my chest. "Okay, okay. Get me the forms"*I think I surprised them both when I climbed into the back seat ofSara's Citroen. I'd long ago established that I had permanent shotgun inmy mum's car, but I really didn't want to talk to either of them. Jennytook the hint with a shrug and climbed into the passenger seat. Theytried to make some small talk with me but after a couple of grunts foranswers, they stopped.I was too busy trying to catalogue the issues wrong.
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