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The Orkneas and other creatures of the demonic supernatural had not bothered us since our original first days in the cave and we had assumed that up here, far from any other men and their source of prey, that we would now be safe from them. The only thing that saved our lives was that out of habit we had set our silver border-wards around our camp. We were certainly not paying close guard attention at the time.About an hour after sunset, we had passed a nice snowy open field that featured a warm water pond that flowed up from a hot underground spring. This was a temptation that my bath-loving partner could not resist. It was the first hot bath she had enjoyed in over a year, she told me and I shared the first hour or so in it with her. We had made love standing up with me holding her in the deliciously warm water. At length, I withdrew to our nearby campsite with the intent of cooking a little of our deer meat for our late dinner when I felt the shiver down my spine that warned me of. . Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.“Just WHAT are you doing?” he asks.“Hanging myself,” the blond replies.“It should be around your neck” says the guard.“I tried that,” he replies, “but then I couldn’t breathe”.( This one actually makes sense ... well, sort of... )An Italian tourist asks a blond man: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”To which the blond man replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”A guy is walking along Whyte Avenue when he comes across a lamp partially buried in a garbage can.He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.The guy thinks for a moment and says, “I want to live forever.”“Sorry,” said the genie, “I’m not allowed to grant eternal life.”“OK, then, I want to die after the Liberals balance the budget and eliminate the debt.”“You crafty little bastard,” said the genie.These Are Compliments of John AA teenager had just gotten her learners.
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