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-Phyllis DillerThe reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.-Phyllis DillerBest way to get rid of kitchen odours: Eat out.-Phyllis DillerA bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.-Phyllis DillerI want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.-Phyllis DillerMost children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.-Phyllis DillerAny time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.-Phyllis DillerWe spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.-Phyllis DillerBurt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.-Phyllis DillerWhat I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.-Phyllis DillerThe only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally. The room was just a double bed. I said I had booked two singles but she said not to worry. We went to the bar and had a few drinks and got talking about her job in the hospital and her family. She was wearing jeans and a tshirt. She looked okay but nothing special. I told her we were going shopping.We got to the town and knew I had to get her dressed sexy so watched her try on some dresses I brought hera skimpy red dress size 8. And some matching underware thongs and bras. When we got back I told her to put them on. Wow she looked amazing. We went back down to the bar and chatted. We spoke about relationships and admited she had never met a black guy and her family was fairly old school about it so she hadnt told them. She said she was looking for a full time relationship and said she would have to tell her family about me as she had strong feelings for me.It was about 6pm and had just finished eating we went back to the room. I sat on the bed and she sat next to me so I kissed her..
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