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The woman said she would try her best. God visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on. “Not bad” said the woman, “I’ve given up smoking and drinking but then I bent over to get some stuff out of the freezer and my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs, he pulled up my skirt, pulled my panties to one side and made love to me right then and there.” “They don’t like that in heaven,” God said. The woman replied, “They’re not too happy about it in Costco either!”1. My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn’t!2. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.3. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.5. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.6. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.9. I’m not a complete idiot -- Some parts. Marianne?sterror was completed by my turning the winch handle until her feet no longertouched the floor, now as she hung solely from her wrist cuffs I told Marianneto place her hands around the bar holding the pulley, obediently she did so,slightly alleviating the pressure on her arms just as I landed the ?Cat? uponthose glorious Breasts.!Fora moment Marianne thrashed around in her suffering then fell still and silenther eyes closed, then they opened again, her expression manic, her eyespleading with me, her spit drooling from the ball gag as I landed the next blowjust below her Breasts taking the wind out of her.Nowit was time to discover if Marianne had learnt anything yet. ?Spreadyour legs bitch, spread them wide and then push your feet toward me? I orderedMarianne.Fora moment though she just hung there in despair.?Doit bitch, do it now or I start all over again!?Thiswas enough to tip Marianne over the edge of compliance and slowly she beganparting her legs.?Wider?I kept telling.
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