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But she required me to make the final gesture – to at least close those last few inches.I smiled at her, all my earlier tiredness and mixed feelings a distant memory. I stepped half a pace forward and encircled her waist in my arms, a huge shiver of excitement running through my body, as I realized I was about to make love to a woman, other than Jill, for the first time in more than twenty years.Gemma’s eyes looked deeply into mine as we both waited in anticipation for the first kiss of the night, both of us enjoying the anticipation and happy to drag out the moment. We’d kissed on that night two weeks ago at the party, but we both knew this would be different. There were no rules tonight. We both had the blessings of our respective spouses to go all the way. Before we’d kissed, I’d played with Gemma’s big boobs and she’d stroked me to a place just short of climax. But tonight we’d go all the way.I was about to have sex with a woman, other than my wife, for the first time ever. I was. She gave me a look that screamed frustration.“John, there is no way to tell for sure, but not very long. Could be a few months a year, hard to say,” she said. “But, with treatment...”“Thank you doctor. You’ve been great,” I said. “Goodbye.”I was actually feeling good. I knew the man would find out that I was not accepting his help. I would almost for sure be all but assaulted by the lot of them. They so wanted to assuage their guilt. And, I so wanted to not let them. Was I still bitter after all this time? Damn straight I was. Oh, yeah!Doctor Metcalf hadn’t really said how low my CD4 level was, but she had essentially said that I had a few months to a year. I had to figure that the numbers were pretty bad.Oddly, I still felt pretty good, maybe a trifle weak, but okay otherwise. I’d be able to work for a while at any rate. I knew I could get basic care at County General. Then, when things got real bad, I could get myself a bed at the hospice there and just wait to die. Yes, that was.
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