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Mom ne fir kaha ki Feroz ne kaha hai ki woh dad ki jaan ek aur shart pe chodh sakta hai. Maine aur didi ne ek saath bola, “kya?”Maa rotey huye boli, “Agar Ritu yeh business join karle.” Feroz ko Ritu bahut achi lagi hai, aur woh usey iss line mein lana chahta hai.Yeh sun ke mera khun khaul gaya, par mom ne mujhe samjhaya ki Feroz bahut powerful aadmi hai, woh mujhe bhi maar dega, aur fir didi aur mom bilkul akeli reh jaayengi.Maine aur Mom ne Ritu ki taraf dekha. Didi ke chehre par koi expression nahi tha. Woh shocked bhi thi, gussa bhi thi, aur dukhi bhi.Mom ki tone ab dheere-dheere badalne lagi, aur woh khud ek dalal ki tarah baat karne lagi. Unhone didi ko samjhaya ki iss kaam mein beshumar paisa hai, aur full masti bhi.Naye dost bhi banenge, aur naye aashiq bhi. Maa boli, ki yeh kaam hum chupkar karenge, jaise itne saalo se karte aaye hain, kisi ko nahi pata chalega, hamaari koi beizzati nahi hogi, aur paisa pura milega.Band darwaaze ke peeche gharon mein kya-kya hota hai, yeh tum. I turned on some TV, it was some stupid run of the mill sitcom but whatever. It will do for now. As i ate that creeping feeling of........ I wanna call it despair? I mean it'a not that bad, but i can't really think of anything else to call it so let's just call it despair. That creeping feeling of despair come over me again.I have been doing this for years now, get home, eat some shitty dinner, watch some shitty shows, go to sleep, wake up and jerk off, eat a shitty breakfeast, repeat. And then soon enough i would get a apartment, met a slightly above average girl, marry her, pump out two to three brats, buy a house, and then die.And i didn't want to do that, i want my life to be fun, and special, not just boring, and normal. But whatever, it doesn't matter i shouldn't even be down in the dumps about this. There are people that are fighting tooth and nail just to get by, and here i am bitching about my life not being special enough. I go upstairs to go to sleep, it was a bit early.
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