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I might be fun to ride, but I was not something a person admitted enjoying in polite company. Seamus hadn’t bothered to defend me, or correct them. He’d asked me to leave, and I’d taken the hardest walk of shame ever.I’d cursed myself for trusting him with my deepest secrets. Secrets that could get me killed. But mostly, I’d cursed myself for becoming vulnerable. In hindsight, I decided I hadn’t known how to deal with the intimacy of having the same partner over and over. I’d fallen for the novelty of the situation, not the man himself. And if I kept repeating that, I just might believe it… someday.The days stretched into weeks, the weeks stretched into months, and silence had reigned. He never tried to call me, and I never mustered the guts to call him. I lived in fear that he’d share my secret, and spent a lot of time looking over my shoulder. I’d given up sex while my broken heart healed, and so I’d found myself at less than full strength when the plague hit and I was asked to. He hopped into the line between Camilla and me and first leaned over to say something to her that I couldn't hear, and then turned to me. Even with the applause thundering I heard every word. "I was wrong, Volker," he told me. "Was wonderful, best Germont ever that I conduct." And he embraced me right there in front of the clamoring crowd.Forget it that he couldn't conduct crescendi, I had a recognized luminary in my profession telling me—me!—that I'd arrived.Even when it couldn't get any better it still got better. Backstage was so crowded with people clustering around me and congratulating me—other singers, choristers, audience members who'd somehow wangled themselves a pass—that I had trouble finding time to change out of my costume. And when Camilla and I finally made it back to our penthouse and shut the door behind us I actually broke down, collapsing on the couch in a wave of emotional sobs.She came over and put her arms around me without a word. Asmedogh emerged from the.
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