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It sure as hell wasn't my money or my obvious good looks, which I didn't have any of. I was seated in the back, while the woman and the driver were up front ignoring me. We headed into town. He pulled the Lincoln up in front of some trendy restaurant with a French name emblazoned over it. He came around and opened first her door helping her out, and then the back door. He clearly expected me to debark, but I was getting real hot under the collar. "They ain't gonna let me in there," I said. "That's one of those ties only places, and you may not have noticed, but I ain't wearin' no goddamned tie." "Just get out, please," said Albert. "The lady wants to have a few words with you, and then I will take you anywhere you wanna go, okay?" "I muttered something about him bein' lucky I was in a good mood. Total bullshit of course; he'd have beat me right handed then left handed and then fed me to the fishes, but I had my pride. I almost had to laugh at myself. Pride? Pride wasn't worth a. No thanks. See underneath the grill the charcoal's on?"I had to lower my head to get the right angle but I could see that the section below the charcoal was filled with pieces of newspaper, crunched up into balls the size of a handball. I nodded my head.He reached under the grill and rotated a piece of metal. It opened up three holes at the bottom of the kettle close to an inch in diameter each. He handed me a long lighter. Mom used one similar to light the fireplace on those few occasions when it was cold enough to have a fire and there were people around to enjoy it."OK. What you want to do is look through the holes and light whatever newspaper you can reach. The idea is for the paper to burn enough to catch the whole batch on fire and start the charcoal going."I bent over and looked and saw one hole with nothing above it and two with newspaper visible. I lit the lighter and held it in one hole, then the other. I stuck the end of the lighter through the one where there wasn't any.
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