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“Yeah, some.”He let out a breath. “Good!”I looked at him, startled. “Good?”“Yes, in the sense that you gave me an honest answer. I’d have been very worried if you had said you hadn’t thought that sort of thing. Being honest about a problem is the first step to getting a handle on it.”I blinked in surprise at that. “Oh. I never thought about that, at least for going crazy.”“Like I said, you’re not crazy, not at all. Now, I have other patients to meet with today. I’ll give some people the good word that you’re not as nutty as a fruitcake, okay?” he told me.“It’s good that you’re so technical, Doc.”He smiled. “Makes life simpler, doesn’t it? In any case, part of the therapy for survivor’s guilt is to understand precisely what happened. You might not like it, but there are going to be some people who will want to question you about what happened at Outpost Whiskey. It might be painful, but you need to talk to them. Can you do that?”I shrugged again, as best I could. That was painful on. Knowing you were sneaking peeks at me was exciting, and trying to be quiet when, I, well, you know. It just made it all better. And Linda! When I saw you sitting up and I could not see her, I had an idea what was going on. But then when I heard it, I knew. I just knew. And I was actually a bit jealous.”“Jealous? But...”“Shush, this is my time to talk. I was jealous because there she was at 14, doing something I still had not done yet and I was 16. Sure, I’d had sex before, but I had never gone down on a boy. I think that as much as anything helped push me over. And even though it was faster than I intended, I had to try it myself.” She looked into my eyes and smiled.“And knowing you two were in the front also helped me feel safer. I knew you would never say anything. And Linda would never say anything either. And at the end of the night I had done things I had never done before, and it felt liberating. Like I knew we could get a bit carried away, but not get too carried away, ya.
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