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However, following the exchange of messages with Darius, I was now consumed with guilt, worry and confusion.I'd been acting immaturely and selfishly with the whole situation. I'd told myself that I was merely following my desires, that it would be wrong to suppress them. But as time went on, and things were becoming more serious with Hanna, it was dawning on me that other people's feelings were also involved, I needed to consider that.First, I had to figure out what I wanted. Yes, it would be great to carry on as I had been, having my cake and eating it, but I had to make choices. I was convinced that if I continued to see Othello, he would turn me 100%. That's the hold he had over me, and I kind of liked the thought, but how would that affect people around me and especially my relationship with Hanna? I was again questioning my sexuality. Although I hate to put a label on it, society has already done that. God, it was such a dilemma. Maybe talking it all through with Darius would. “I can’t take much more of him David,” she replied.“What did he do?”“It’s just the way he talks to me,” she said, taking a tissue from the glove compartment and dabbing her eyes.“Right,” he said, opening his door, “l’ve had enough of this, it’s time for me to put him in his place.”“No David, please,” she said, grabbing his arm, “let’s just get this week over with, he wants to see Laura on Friday before the wedding, l told him l would tell her but that it would be up to her if she came.”“Did you tell him Uncle Jack and the others are coming today?”“That’s what set him off,” she replied, “l don’t know where his language has come from, he says things he would never have dreamt of saying before, calling Ann and Carol whores, how he wouldn’t be surprised if l wasn’t whoring as well when l visited them, he came out with such a torrent of abuse, then he called me a black man’s whore, l had to walk out then.”“How much longer will he be in there?” David asked.“I spoke to the nurse, she said he.
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