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But Sam, that's for your ears only, don't bandy it around, OK?"Another pause, even longer. "You have one of the most beautiful women in the world, and probably the number one lyric soprano, coming to move in with you for a week and—" Guest room, Sam," I cut him off. "Don't get carried away." In truth I was feeling a lot the same way, and I was saying the last as much to myself as to him."Jesus," he said in an awed tone. "Who the hell are you, and what have you done with my friend Nick Volker?" I told you, Sam, my voice has changed." Yeah, well, my voice changed too when I hit puberty, but I didn't have sexy sopranos coming around."I laughed. "It's all in the timing," I told him."Right. OK, I'll let you go now, but before I do, can you let me hear that one more time?" Due rami enormi crescon sulla mia testa!" I sang into the phone. It's the second line of Ford's aria; he's in disguise to test his wife's fidelity by getting Falstaff to try to seduce her—the opera's based on. She appreciatedthe affection and hugged me back, kissed me on the cheek, and rubbed myback.Then she said, "There's a bunch of fruit and vegetables in the fridge. Whydon't you help yourself? Just be careful that you don't open the containerwith the kumquats in it."Eating a juicy fruit sounded like just what I needed. I went to the fridge,but I couldn't open it. Then I noticed that a latch had been added to thefridge door, and combination lock was hanging from it. 'What the fuck?!' Ithought to myself.I walked back over to Mom and looked at her with a frown on my face and myhands on my hips."Oh, yeah, the lock. Sorry. Here, I'll get you some fruit. You can sitdown." She pulled out a chair for me and put her hand on the back of myneck, gently guiding me into the chair. Confused, I sat down. She walkedover to the fridge. I watched her as she shielded the lock with her handbefore opening it. "Sorry about this, but the prophet strongly recommendedthat we keep the food safe in the house,.
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