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Because this ring would control them all.He cursed Bilbo. Damn the Hobbit, he found the bloody thing in a caveover near the Lonely Mountain. He hadn't even let Frodo know he had ituntil what, six fucking months ago?So now Frodo was trapped in a fucking quest to destroy the ring...And he still didn't know what the fucking thing did!!!Oh Gandalf was the worst when it came to telling him. He told him thatSauron had made the fucking thing, that it bound the rings of all otherkind. That with it Sauron could control the world...Fine. As He climbed up Mount Duum, he wondered what it did beyond that.And that fucking little perv Gollum... Why was he so intent on stealingthis little band of fucking gold back? It wasn't like it was a fancylittle piece of fluff after all. It was a plain gold band with noornamentation beyond the lettering that only appeared when it was heatedup.Fuck it. Burn the fucking gold band, go home, maybe get laid...Frodo paused in his crawl. Ahead of him he could see the. "Ya, I see ya, you guys know I am joking? I am just a stupid white guy trying to make a living." Few laughs and chuckles through the audience. "Sometimes, as a comedian I run out of material or I forget something, so I will curse or make fun of minorities to get a cheap laugh. Hey, this is the benefit of working the late show, you guys are drunk enough by now that it doesn't matter what shit I say, you will laugh at it." More laughs. He pointed at the crowd and smiled."That is why I love Long Island, New York so much. They will drink like fish and laugh at anything because after a week of work, it's got to get better, am I right?" There was a smattering of applause. "Now don't get me wrong, I too was employed not too long ago at a convenience store. I know fairly well what it takes to survive the day. A pack or two of cigarettes, an attitude to handle the child who tries to five-finger discount a chocolate bar and a smile for the grandmother who needs to find a hatpin. I love old.
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