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Then we start drinking talking and we already finished our beer so i ask her 'would you like to play beer pong ' she said yeah sure , so far so good. So i take her in the back with all of my friends were at, must of them know that im into older women so i wasn't really worried what would they say or think once i take her back. So we go , we see one of my friend Timmy hitting the bong , and goes 'oh shit here put it away theres a lady here!Linda: You dont have to put it away ,its fine with me just smoke away ' and she laughTony ends up telling her 'here Linda you should take a hit i promise i wont tell no one' but he was joking with her, Linda: Yeah sure ill take a hit then but dont tell your mom ' i was shocked cuz Ive never seen an older women hitting the bong i was kinda excited about it . So she grab the bong I light it up for her and all of my friends were staring at her. Once she took the hit all my friends were cheering , it was kinda funny at the same time . After that i asked. I had fantasies about becoming a drug addict at the hands of another person. That I lost control to the drugs, and was forcibly feminized by that person. I had fantasies of being indoctrinated into a cult. I felt aroused at the prospect of losing myself to someone else's control. With each exploration, the fetishes and fantasies always went along these lines. Losing control, and not being able to stop. I always ended up with the fem. persona. Many of the dreams and fantasizing went along these lines. As time went by, I made multiple attempts to self-actualize at least one of the fantasies I had. More on that later.It was in high school that things started changing. While having fantasies, fetishes, and wet dreams of being feminized, I crossdressed whenever possible. I'm not sure what type of effects had manifested in me, but physical manifestations are always bound to occur. Everyone knows about psychosomatic illnesses. When an illness has a root cause in a psychological state or.
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