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After all, if we could have this effect on each other just through messaging, what would it be like if we were ever to actually meet? It felt very, very exciting… Old Harry Rocks I realised that hot tears were silently running down my cheeks. I was sitting in the sunshine once more on a beautiful headland in Dorset. I could not think any more about Sam as it was too painful, so I just let the tears flow and sat quietly, (and lit another cigarette). I was jolted out of my silence by a voice. ‘Hi there, are you okay?’ To my irritation the voice had an American accent. I looked up briefly to see a tallish man standing awkwardly by my side. ‘Do I look okay?’ was my abrupt response. ‘Well, no. You look a little peaky,’ he replied. ‘I couldn’t just walk by. I think I noticed you at breakfast this morning,’ he went on. I said nothing. I felt mildly annoyed at being disturbed and did not want company. I certainly did not want to hear an American voice. I willed him to just leave me. She’ll find it very hard to refuse you anything after what you did for her, but that may lead to regrets and resentment later on, if she thinks you took advantage. That said ... always better to tell her how you feel than to let her think she doesn’t matter, or that she’s unworthy. It’s a recurrent pattern for her, but you know that already.”I did, all too well. I’d do my best to not be pushy, but I had no intention to let her fall into despair. I had almost failed her that way once, and Amanda deserved better.As soon as I got to school, I looked for Amanda, and was happy to see her with Sylvia. She was making other friends, and wouldn’t be completely dependent on my set. I didn’t mind her relying on me, but I wanted her to learn to handle herself in social situations. If we ended up together, she would have to.I greeted Sylvia and Amanda, and I ran my hand over her back to check her reaction. She seemed to be doing a lot better, and it took a load off my mind. Mother had told me she.
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