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As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions.I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man. And as I played “Amazing Grace”, the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we. "Yes, this is home." I kissed her quickly. "Would you like to have some private time with your plastic magic wand?" Maybe. Look, if he comes in here to kiss me, would you do a quick errand to your bathroom or email? Maybe I should join the group." Of course. I hope you do."Just then, Tyler came in, expecting to find us in bed. He started to leave and I said, "No, come on in. We were getting ready to retire. No need to sneak."Aha, I made him think. Mom was in the bathroom by the sink doing teeth or whatever. Tyler dropped his pants and went immediately behind her. He kissed her shoulders and neck. She bent her head over either to get it away from him or to give him a larger target. He continued to kiss all around the back of her neck and hold her around the waist. Ever so slowly, she turned her head around with her mouth open to find his. Seduction played out before my eyes in slow motion. He knew. Something in her eyes or smile told him, but he knew she was his for the taking. My.
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