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I resolved to go outand buy clothes and do something to improve my depressed appearance. Mydirty blonde hair was down to my shoulders now and unkempt. It was muchthicker, fuller than it had been but straggly. I wore ugly, baggythings. I had dark circles under my eyes. When you stop and really consider what you need to do as a woman, yourealize how different things are. Hairstyles seemed infinite. Womenwear makeup. There are a million different clothing styles andfashions. I ripped ads and articles from magazines. I made a list. Ishared that with my audience. I actually had a lot of fun doing that- sharing it with others. Itwasn't all men either. There were lots of responses from women afterthat night, some good suggestions.I debuted my things, my new look, a few days later. I hadn't gone overboard. But I kind of did, too. I was fitted in aclothing store for the very first time, as a woman, I mean. I recountedhow I'd stood there frozen as the sales lady had measured. As the videoended, the guard asked, "I wonder how she managed to get that video ofherself doing that."Without thinking, Mike corrected him. "Oh, she didn't make that video,I did."The guard looked at him. "Yeah, right." No, really. I've got a hidden camera mounted on the outside of thebuilding right over there."Mike mistook the guard's stare for skepticism. "It's true. I recordthe images from a lot of my systems. You wouldn't believe some of theshit I've seen people doing when they don't know I'm watching them.Like just yesterday, this idiot was..."The guard's stony expression finally woke Mike up to what he wassaying. When he stopped talking, the guard took over."Please, go on... Tell me more about the people who don't know you'rewatching them. I'd love to hear all about it."-----El Capitan TheaterJimmy let the audience go on for a full twenty seconds beforemotioning for them to calm down. "Tonight, we have a surprise for you.I'd like to introduce you to Boston's newest favorite.
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