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But when I brought her back to the hospital this time, we both knew she was never going to leave it.Her breath was coming in short gasps. The morphine drip wasn’t enough any longer. She was hurting badly, but fighting hard to stay alive for just another minute to be with me and her two babies. But the suffering ... oh my God, how she was suffering.I got up from the straight-backed chair the hospital allowed next to her bed and leaned over my wife of only a very few years. I kissed her lips. I didn’t think she was still enough with us to know what I did, but maybe ... Her breathing evened out for a few seconds, then resumed the hoarse gasping, but it was weaker now.I bent closer to whisper in her ear. “Honey, I’ll always love you. Your son and daughter know you love them, and they love you. We’ll all love you forever, honey. You don’t have to fight any more, baby. It’s time to let go. I’ll take care of Tommy and Judy for you, and they’ll take care of me, darling. Don’t worry anymore,. Drew and I would talk mostly about music, movies, or videogames, but whenever Drew was absent, Derek often passed the time by giving me odd nuggets of advice.“Do you shave yet?” he once asked me.“Not really.” I’d shaved a handful of times when I got mangy but my facial hair was only starting to become thicker.“You should start doing it every other day or so,” he said. “Otherwise, at your age, it will come in splotchy. Besides...” he said, running his fingers across his own hairless chin, “ ... the ladies love a smooth face.” Nothing was more important to me at that point than finding myself a lady and since he was older, cooler, and better-looking than me, I took the advice. A guy like Derek had to be practically buried in pussy.“You should also shave your stomach,” he said the next day. “That little bit between your pecs too. Chest hair can be attractive for older guys, but you have a good body. A smooth chest and stomach will make your muscles pop. Bring out that six-pack.” I.
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