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The big guy says “I want to have some sex. You wanna be the husband or the wife?” The accountant replies “Well, if I have to be one or the other, I guess I’d rather be the husband”. The big guy says “Okay. Now get over here and suck your wife’s dick”.A guy is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and suddenly yells “No! No! Don’t enter that church, you damn fool”. His wife asks him “What are you watching?” Husband replies “Our wedding video”.Recently a young woman came into my father’s office with her newborn twins. Dad asked her if she ever had any trouble telling them apart. She gave him a funny look before responding “No, I haven’t had any problem. This is Gary, and his sister, Elizabeth”.Q. What is the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diarrhoea? A. the oyster shucker shucks between fits.Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were. “I’m so tough” said the first boy “that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week”. “Well”. He beat my bum in the end. It seemed my soft, obese buttocks were his revered fetish, weren’t they? I suspected so. “Suck my cock again,” he ordered, massaging it and then holding it out to me. I was such a bitch, wasn’t I? My hands smoothing down his chest, I squatted and snapped it up. “Yes, Alex,” he whined happily, “You are such a sweet babe. Oh suck…..” Deep into my throat his penis sank, scraping my teeth so that he experienced tantalizing tickles. My tongue wrapped around it carefully. He rolled his eyes for an instant, soared to paradise, a million miles far away. “Cut!” Kirby’s raving voice thundered out of the blue, making my hair stand on its end, “This is way too gross. Candy, what has happened to you? Porn is all about unbridling lust—banging the way animals do. You’re not showing me lust. You are practicing dull lovemaking.” My mouth dangled open and my eyes stretched wide. I was making every effort here, exhausting my muscles until feebleness was reducing me to.
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