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" What realistic figure did you have in mind?" the salesman asked."I can put down about $1,000." How did you arrive at that figure?" That's about half of my $2,000 savings. I think I need the other half for emergencies and stuff." I understand how you feel," the salesman said. "And other consumers have felt the same way you do until they found out that getting preferred financing means lower monthly payments, a faster payoff, and greater equity in your slave. Having shared those advantages, how close can you come to the $3,000 cash investment?" All right," Ethan sighed, "I can put $2,000 down. I told you before, that's all the savings I have." It's not what the bank requires, but let's try!" the salesman said. "Now, as you know, banks today like to go with accelerated monthly payments, in your case, that would be around $240. You can handle that, right?" No way!" Ethan gasped."What realistic figure did you have in mind?" About $50." How did you arrive at that figure?" I told you. . (Please attach rest of story... )INTRO #3: It was a dark and stormy night... (On second thought, skip this one. It's a stupid opening and totally unbelievable anyway.)Which brings me to my last point. We have to stop using dumb openings to these things. Just get the disclaimer out of the way and get on with the action. Our customer satisfaction ratings have slipped from 97% to 95.3% in the latest J.D. Powers survey, and I think our "too clever" openings may have something to do with it.And use a simple disclaimer, like: *Under 18? Go away.* That'd do it. OK, let's get to work. Oh, and Dick, please report to my office. It's Wednesday.ThanksM1KEBTW: In case you're wondering, we had to let Hugh G. Rection go. He just didn't fit in.Contest Entry #2Here is another entry for Celeste's Short Story Contest. The first entry probably didn't count anyway, 'cause it wasn't really a story. It was just a memo, which we all see too many of. This one isn't really a story either.It's more of a rant,.
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