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I scraped dishes while I filled the sinks, humming happily under my breath. I'd often been frustrated about being the one stuck with the cleanup, but tonight I couldn't seem to mind a bit. All I had to do was think about Mike's hands, his body on mine, the heat of him inside me.As plates and bowls and silverware soaked, I entertained a fantasy in which Mike got the job here and moved to the city. Moved in with me. We could see each other off to work in the morning, come home together every night, sleep in together on weekends. Vacation together. And, of course, make sweet love together.It's a lovely fantasy, Lynne, but isn't something missing?Of course there was. Jenny and Jeff would be shocked and furious. Margay and Andy wouldn't want to socialize with a thirty-year-old, and neither would any of my other friends. And what about Mike's friends? Somehow I couldn't see him and his buddies wanting to hang out with an old lady half again their age.Enjoy it for what it is, Lynne. Don't. Me, cooking and cleaning and performingsexual acts on demand. Like some sort of sex slave. If not an actualslave slave.Its seems Kevin's disrespect for women, or maybe just for me as aperson, is a far bigger issue than I anticipated.I feel so forlorn as I undo his trousers. I know I have to condense myrevulsion into a corner of my brain and just do what he wants. I want touse a condom so I don't have to endure having that stuff squirted in mymouth, but it's pretty clear that's not happening. I imagine he expectsme to swallow it as part of his power trip.Is this the lowest ebb I've felt since my transformation? Perhaps. Isworse yet to come? Perhaps.But then I think of Mr Donald. And the De Silvas. And all the otherpeople in various states of pain and misery whose lives I havetransected in the last week. And I realize my self pity is not in thesame league of how bad things can be for some. So I should just continueto resign myself to my lot.I slide down his underwear.His penis is.
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