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If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.- SocratesI was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.- Groucho MarxMy wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.- Jimmy DuranteI have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.- Zsa Zsa GaborOnly Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.- Alex LevineMy luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.- Rodney DangerfieldMoney can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.- Spike MilliganUntil I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.- Joe NamathI don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.- Bob HopeI never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it...- W. C. FieldsWe could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through. "I would be honored, Empress. So...what is your recommendation for thepatient then?" Recommend that he not consume large quantities of anything containingalcohol as it acts as a catalyst to activate the nanos' secondaryprogramming." Secondary programming? I don't understand, Empress, what secondaryprogramming." I wasn't always like this, Belle. The secondary programming is latentfrom our early experiments during development. It modifies severalchromosomal strands in order to help us against the environmentalextremes we were to face after our planet began its fusion reaction.One change in particular was left forgotten- the modification of the'Y' chromosome- number twenty-six by our numbering system- to an 'X'configuration."Dr. Mintaka's eyes almost exploded from her head as she understood."You changed the 'Y' chromosome to an 'X'?" she shrieked. "Why wouldanyone do that?" It was used as an easy to observe indicator that our designs wereworking properly. Our early experimentation.
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