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By 6:15 the food had cooled and Erik wasn't home yet, soShannon put the meat and vegetable dishes in the oven. She left a concernedmessage on Erik's voice mail at 6:30 and two angry ones at 6:45 and 7:00. At7:15 Erik finally arrived home to find his wife staring coldly at him fromher chair at the dinner table. "Happy anniversary!" she began sarcastically. Erik stood silently in the doorway while Shannon flew into a tirade. Shewent into great detail about her efforts to make this evening special and howupset she was that he didn't even bother to call and tell her he'd be late.She declared that Erik didn't really love her, that he only cared about himselfand that she had no idea why they were together. She peppered these statementswith an abundance of cruel insults and extremely fowl language. She was aboutto grab the carefully prepared table and flip it over in her rage when shesuddenly noticed a band-aid on her husband's forehead. "What the hell is that?" she said, her voice. ”Joey laughs. “Okaaaayyy...”“And he gives the potion to the wrong guy. He makes Lysander fall in love with Helena. So now we have Lysander, who loves Helena, who loves Demetrius, who loves Hermia, who loves Lysander.” I indicate this with a big circle.“Oh. I get it.”“And as they say in show business, ‘hilarity ensues’. They all chase each other for a couple acts, and Oberon tries to fix it and just makes everything worse.”“Okay.”“Meanwhile, Oberon is pissed at his wife, Titania, and he uses the love potion on her to make her fall in love with some random forest animal. But Puck comes along and he finds the ugliest character in the cast, a guy named Bottom...”“Bottom?”“Bottom.”“BOTTOM?”“Bottom.”“As in ... butt? Ass?”“You’re way ahead of me. Now Puck transforms Bottom so he now has the head of a donkey.”Joey stares at me with a blank face for a long time.“A donkey head?”“Yes.”“Okay. Now, you’re just making shit up.”I laugh. “No! I’m serious. That’s what happens!”“What kind of stupid.
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