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In that previous life, I had honed that persona in the face of competing in the male-dominated environment. I secretly questioned how much of that persona was truly me and how much was a bluff to survive and compete, a bluff that had never been successfully called.I now saw the presentation of the Bear Spirit to be that validation of myself. That spirit of strength, conviction, and deep foundational stability were real within me. They were parts of me I should never again question or doubt.I was sitting on the ground cross-legged. At first, he had started sitting on his haunches, but he towered over me so he lay on his stomach with his head raised. By the end of the discussion of the meaning of his totem for me, I was still very much aware I was dialoguing with a huge bear, but the fear factor quickly dissipated, as it had done with the wolf not so long ago. Despite his being a bear, he was one of my spirit totems and how could I not be comfortable with my own spirit selves?I was. I survived though and here I am, a little over seven hundred years later.” I am not foolish enough to think that all vampires become as such of their own free will, but to think of being taken in such a way makes me sad. It makes me sad that Charles didn’t have a choice. “Do you regret it? I know it wasn’t something you wanted, but are you happy?” I ask. “I regretted it at first, I had to leave behind a huge family and a girl I was going to marry. After several years, I knew this was a life I was meant to have and I embraced it. I don’t regret any of it now.” He pulls me to him and kisses me deeply, our tongues meeting for the first time in this new form. I’m now completely a vampire and have everything I ever wanted. I smile lightly through the kiss and relax into him. He climbs on top of me, my gown pulling up as he moves closer. I feel his fingers skim over my body, making it sing. His touch is a new sensation, an overwhelmingly beautiful experience. He removes his own.
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