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I named him Stay. It’s fun to call him...”Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!” He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.-- Steven WrightWhen will all the rhetorical questions end?We have mileage, yardage and footage. Why don’t we have inchage?Bumper Sticker:If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.The other day, I was walking my dog around my building ... on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.-- Steven WrightStudies show that 100% of those who advocate abortion are people who already have been born.What’s dumb? Directions on toilet paper.What’s dumber than that? Reading them.Even dumber? Reading them and learning something.Dumbest of all? Reading them and having to correct something you’ve been doing wrong.Some time ago, there was this artist, who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes, and had been working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for several months now.As usual, his model reported,. No sexualovertones. This was a lot of fun, and I felt we were growing closer asa result. I guess that was the whole point of her doing this to me.Friday was different. We spent part of the day out and about, as wehad done all week. But Wendy drove us home early. Then she droppedthe bombshell. We had dates. I protested, to no avail, that we wereengaged, how could she go out with another man? Her unassailable logicwas that I wasn't a man any more, and besides, I was dating too. I wasextremely nervous about this. I have never had a gay thought in mymind. Now I was supposed to go out with a guy. But as the afternoonwore on, I found myself dressed and made up.At 6:30, the doorbell rang. I was a nervous wreck, but Wendy justsmiled as she opened the door. Her date was a guy named Bob. Heseemed polite enough. My date was Dennis, who was one of Wendy'scoworkers. She wouldn't date someone she worked with, but thought itwas OK for me to do so. Dennis was fairly good looking,.
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