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ALL Rights ReservedDate of first publication Friday PM, July 12, 2002:Later in my life I learn my mom always wanted a girl. After I was born mom's doctor advises her that her childbearing abilities are over, she will never have the daughter she always wanted. Subsequently she raises me like the daughter she can never have rather then the boy I am. My dad makes it easy for her. Dad's job requires intensive travel. Sometimes he is away from home for months, allowing mom to do as she pleases with my upbringing. This gives mom ample time to bring me up as young girl. She fusses over me and dresses me in frilly pink things as a baby. All her friends think it is cute and approve. These are not events in my life I actually remember but as a twelve year old I find a box in the attic containing my mom's diaries of how she raised me as a girl with the help of many of her friends.My childhood friends are all girls my age. My mom only buys me girl oriented clothing and toys. As soon as I am. I remember thinking that her tennis shoes looked so little and like kid shoes. She handed me the phone when I got down there and we looked at each other and noticed I was taller than her. She laughed and said” I’m sure you will be taller than most women one day given your parents height, but I’m also sure you are shocked to already be taller than little me” I was always tall but I felt like a man for the first time in my life.Like I said she was so proportionately put together that she was pretty and had a little but nice body. I was 7 so I wasn’t attracted to her yet as a woman but she had a pretty face and later I would see things differently. She would wear the giant heels almost always so for a short time she would remain taller than me. Manny’s dad was pretty tall too and towered over her.By the time I was 8 I was taller than her in her heels. She always made remarks about how I was going to be a giant one day. She laughed and said for me to always remember the little people in.
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