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*** They had Stephano’s sister for lunch the previous day with her husband and their two boys. It had gone well. Nicole had been curious to meet the woman who had stolen her brother’s heart so entirely. She had known him through a few relationships, she had even met some of his previous lovers, but only casually. He had never made the effort to formally introduce them. So at the invitation, despite usually having quite a reserved relationship she had suddenly reached over and pulled him into her arms and kissed him on both cheeks, her accompanying laughter was loud and abrupt, almost as though she had surprised herself with the contact. Her eyes were sparkling and she was grinning when she pulled away again. ‘You must like this new woman, if you’re introducing her to your family.’ ‘She’s not that new.’ He frowned, as he wondered why he’d made the offer in the first place. He hadn’t really thought it through before he’d asked. ‘It’s not a big deal, I thought it might be nice.’ ‘It. .. NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, 'If you have any problems or questions ... please call the pet store.'So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!'The man ... looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says:'LISTEN TO ME!!I'm only going to show you how to do thisONE MORE TIME...TOP CARE FOR THE ELDERLY.A man goes to visit his 85-year old grandpa in the hospital."How are you grandpa?" He asks."Feeling fine." says the old man."What's the food like?" Terrific, wonderful menus." And the nursing?" Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you." What about sleeping? Do you sleep okay?" No problem at all,.
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