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He’ll ring his bell. Samuel Clementine, Samuel Clementine, we have your wife Nicole with security.”She laughed, her nose scrunching adorably, her short dark hair falling over one eye that she brushed back into an adorable curl. “And here we are!” Samuel said. “Just in time, I hope. Are you guys still loaning out the chain mail for the parade?”The woman looked us up both and down. She wore the garb of a belly dancer, every inch of her jingling with each movement. The woman was pretty, a little older than me, certainly older than Nicole, who did her best to beam expectantly. “You know, I think we have a few more… I’ll see if Will can squeeze you in…”Just then, as we were being ferried behind a curtain to the back of the shop, I heard someone call out. “HEY! It’s the Avatar!”Samuel sauntered up, all swagger. “Just your friendly neighborhood Avatar, you know. Frozen in ice for a hundred years, back to fight the Fireball nation.”He pulled a flask from his pocket, taking a drink.“Come on,”. I let the entire length of my right finger drag back up over my clitoris… and know instantly that I am going to need more than my fingers tonight. I think about what I can use, now that I have deprived myself of sex toys. Something cock-shaped. Something phallic. I get up and explore the bathroom, trying to find some inanimate object to have sex with. Toothbrush? Too small. Toothpaste tube? Too weird. The old shampoo bottle would have been good but this one has wide shoulders. I go into the kitchen and immediately spot the bananas in the fruit bowl. I almost laugh at the perfection of them. So many women must have done what I’m about to do. I pick the biggest one and separate it from the bunch and return to the bedroom. Opening my bedside cabinet, I fumble for the condom and stretch it over the banana, trapping any nasties inside. The banana looks surprisingly good wearing a condom. It looks surprisingly cock-like. In fact, if I pulled down a man’s underwear and found something.
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