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Today he got a package in the mail he was very secretive about. He took it down in his room before he even opened it, then I heard him laughing downstairs. He sounded kind of evil, oh god that sounds terrible for a mother to say. My therapist has advised me that when I'm feeling anxious about something I should keep my thoughts written down, so this is me doing that. Ideally this will only go for an entry or two, then I can rip it up.His dad, Ed is away on a business trip for the week. I'll be really happy when he comes home, is it a sign I'm a bad mother that being in the same house as my son has me a bit on edge?Friday, August/23/2019I finally found out what Jacob's new toy was. He brought it upstairs tonight, at first I thought it was a fleshlight. That would be a bit creepy to show me, given that I'm his mother, but thankfully I was wrong. It was some kind of light. It looked light a flashlight, he flashed it in my eyes and held it there for a few seconds. For some reason I. It felt good,strange good, deeply good. It took no time at all to adjust to the feeling ofher finger in me - it actually made me want more inside ?and yet I could notbring myself to ask for it. I felt embarrassed but enjoyed the feeling and Idefinitely didn?t want her to stop. Her finger rubbed over my swollen prostateover and over sending a feeling I can?t describe through my bowels and into myflaccid penis. It was as though my penis was being stroked from the inside, andit was. More than that it felt like I was near cumming fromthe first stroke over my prostate, though I hadn?t ejaculated. Cassie didn?t takelong in her own excited state to press further. She removed her finger andplanted the smaller dildo at the slick entrance to my behind. It took only aslight pressure to get the rubber phallus to glide into me. I felt stretchedlike when having a firm bowel movement, not a painful stretching, a nice one,the kind that makes you wish you had to poop a lot more than is.
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