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Defense: That's his job, Cherry.Miss Diddlins: Ooo, I like it when you call me Cherry! But I don't think I'd ever go out with someone who had a job like that.[Laughter in the courtroom.]Prosecution: Your Honor!Judge: Well, I wouldn't go out with you either. But the jury will ignore the young lady's statement.Defense: We seem to be drifting. To repeat my question, Cherry, how is it that Charlie invited you over?Miss Diddlins: I suppose now you will tell everybody.Defense: There's no help for it. It will be on the record. Please answer the question.Miss Diddlins: Well, OK. I saw Charlie in the hallway at school, and I thought he was just so hot. So I found out who he was. Then I came up to him next day and asked him real nice if he could help me with my algebra. God knows I could use help with algebra, so it wasn't a lie. Charlie, you stop smiling!Defense: Did he agree?Miss Diddlins: Charlie is not slow.Defense: So you made some kind of arrangement?Miss Diddlins: My folks are home a. "Go get her out of there." Yes'm," I said and set out. It made for a very curious weekend.That Friday I nosed around and found that there was, indeed, a competition, open only to militiamen, no British regulars or mercenaries, and that, indeed, the prize was a girl, a maiden as she was advertised, of some sixteen years. Most men in the tavern doubted that, doubted there was a women left in New York over the age of twelve who was a virgin. "Less'n she were awful fast," one said. "Or powerful ugly," joked another.Early Saturday, I set out to get me a militia uniform and fell into real luck. The first inn I tried was chuck full of young men from the Eastern Shore of Maryland who had been recruited and uniformed by some wealthy tobacco grower, perhaps one of the much-divided Taliaferro clan. They were called riflemen and all carried heavy-barreled long guns. I wandered about until I found the biggest of the bunch and invited him out to try some rye I told him I had in my saddle bags..
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