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"Your friend's curve breaks a little too early." I still can't believe you watched baseball," Tanya shook her head."And I can't believe that you didn't want to tell us that your friend was an athlete," her mother shot back.It looked like the beginning of a good family argument. I had no idea why Tanya had tried to keep it a secret, but it was time for me to play the white knight."I think she was afraid I'd get a swelled head," I said to her parents."I'm sorry?" her father turned to look at me."She liked me before she knew I was a jock," I smiled at Tanya. "And I think she wants to make sure that I always know that. I do tend to kind of get a little full of myself in the spring. My sister calls this the golden arm."I held the arm out as if it was an object worthy of everyone's reverence, and Tanya whacked the other one. The tension was broken. Tanya's mother got up to finish getting the dinner ready and her father excused himself, too. My best girl and I were left sitting alone on the. She said “I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!” He said, “Explain the kids!”A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, “I need a man, I need a man!” Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, “Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!”Kid 1: “Hey, I bet you’re still a virgin.”Kid 2: “Yeah, I was a virgin until last night.”Kid 1: “As if.”Kid 2: “Yeah, just ask your sister.”Kid 1: “I don’t have a sister.”Kid 2: “You will in about nine months.”A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it’s still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes.
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