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“She is disrespectful, headstrong, likes women so she’s unlikely to get off with a footman, she’s ideal queen material,” he declared.“So you think I’m headstrong, disrespectful and unlikely to chase footmen do you?” the queen enquired.“Well two out of three isn’t bad,” he laughed rather inappropriately.“Oh well, if you must!” the queen admitted, “So, ah Cinders, what do you like about my son?”“He’s loaded,” she admitted. “Mummy said I should give it a go. Actually he smells like a girl and I really liked it when he fucked me.”“Oh, that’s good.” Prince Charming agreed.“We don’t say ‘Fuck’ in the palace dear,” the queen explained, “We say ‘Make love’ much less messy don’t you think? So, Cinders, when did you think of getting married?”“Married? no way!” the girl insisted, “I just want child support.”“Well I’m sorry but we don’t do that,” the queen insisted, “We are rather old fashioned so either you marry Charming or we lock you in the dungeon and beat you and starve you until you’re. Even the friendly Rastafarians at the local record store were out of herb. “Sorry, mon!” they said. The pleasant lazy bump of Jamaican One-Drop faded as I wandered down the street, when someone hissed at me from an alleyway as I passed.“Devil’s weed,” she whispered. “Twenty a bag.” Ordinarily I would not have stopped, but the situation was desperate. Everyone I knew was scraping bowls. “No paraquat,” I said, cautiously. She was beautiful, deep subsaharan black skin and a boisterous riot of wonderfully unruly curls. For a moment I could have sworn she had horns, but when I looked again it was a trick of the light.She gave an insulted glance. “What do you take me for? This is the kind herb, man. Got a hell of a kick to it.”From her Australian accent, I could tell she was from down under. She held out the herb for me to sniff. She was right. That lusty smell, a cross between a skunk and a pussy.“Deal,” I said, handing her a twenty. She grinned.I would have suggested she offer the Rasta.
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