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So why didn't I make my future with her? I loved her; I was in love with her. What was the problem with settling with her? Of course, I had forgotten she was set on going to her family in New Zealand.It eventually dawned on me that the problem was that I was not a complete person. It was precisely that I had no history. I was living on inadequate data, and when the other data came through – if it came through – it might change things drastically. So what to do?I concluded that it meant I couldn't make a solid commitment to Trish. She had always said she was not into commitment but some of her reactions belied that assertion. I surmised I may have been conceited but I thought she was falling in love with me.I rang Trish at work, and we arranged to meet at our local pub mid-afternoon. As soon as she saw me I could see she knew we had to 'have the talk'."Trish, darling," I began, but she interrupted."Have you decided it's finished between us, Allan, is that it?"I thought for a moment,. The default answer is ‘no’, but in the right circumstances, it’s maybe.”“Why say ‘yes’ to me?”“Because after you began flirting with me, I decided I wanted you.”“Then why not chase me?”“For the exact reason we’re sitting here with empty plates at the kitchen table - if the woman in question isn’t fully comfortable with the situation, I don’t want to push her into doing something she’ll regret.”“I don’t get how someone who is as driven as you are can be so blasé about something like this. Don’t you want me?”“You certainly weren’t working as a waitress in a cocktail bar,” I chuckled.“What?”“The song, Don’t You Want Me? by The Human League.”“Why the song reference?”“YOU made it! I just named the reference!”“You are a goofball at times.”“At times?” I asked with an arched eyebrow.Melissa stood up and took the two plates and put them in the sink, then turned and leaned against the sink.“What do you want to do?”“Whatever you want,” I said.“Why won’t you just tell me?”“Because I don’t want.
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