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Of late they had been at each other’s throats and one or the other would storm out after a fierce row and not come home for hours. In my father’s case it was days rather than hours. They both drunk a lot and home was not a great place to be when they were in their cups and slagging each other off. I tried hard to keep out of the way spending most of the day out with my friends and not coming home till late.I was glad that they were out. I made myself a sandwich, poured myself some milk and took them to my room. Being July it was still hot so I left the door partly open to get some air circulating. My father doesn’t believe in air-conditioning. I surfed the web for a while but felt drained by the earlier argument so turned in early. As soon as my head touched the pillow I fell asleep.My next recollection is waking up in the dark and finding a hot and sweaty body plastered against mine. I sleep naked. A hand was grasping my cock, which was fully erect, and squeezing it. A haze of. In Hell, everything is difficult. Simply getting out of bed or choosing clothes is a Herculean task.In Hell, food has no taste, appetite is suppressed by pain.In Hell, there are ghosts everywhere; Addison sitting at the kitchen island counter chatting away, Addison laughing, Addison at my side watching TV and eating ice cream out of the tub, Addison cuddling in bed, Addison loving me ... Addison everywhere.In Hell, the world is pale, filtered through pain so colours are wan, sounds dull, life around you detached, apart, alien.In Hell, there is no joy or laughter, no highs, just endless lows. In Hell, you’re an emotional cripple.Hell is a state of mind and no one could help me. No one could save me. I was trapped by memories, the only memories I had - six months of Addison four years ago. I had no other memories to distract me.In this Hell, I adapted. I’d learned to lie. I’d learned to fake social skills, pretend interest; I’d learned how to survive, not live. I worked out daily.
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