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I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.I told her, that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.Here’s your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.Number Two IdiotEarly this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.They are no longer employed at Boeing.Here’s your sign, guys. Don’t get it wet; the paint might run.Number Three IdiotA man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch. "The Victoria Cross* mate, that's all." Bloody hell," I laughed, "That means I get a pension as well." You very brave man Jack," Eva said quietly and Pete snorted derisively."A bloody fool more like."We pulled up outside my local pub and I groaned inwardly as I saw the banner stretched across it saying, "Welcome home Jack, you're our hero." You're the first V.C. We've ever had from Croydon." Paul said as we got out and I was mobbed by cheering well wishers, half of whom I didn't even know!Inside were long tables groaning beneath the weight of food on them, there were plates of ham, whole chickens, salads, boiled eggs and masses of sandwiches, you name it, it was there, I'd never even seen a whole ham before and chickens were an unheard of luxury at that time in Britain."Bloody hell," I gasped, "I've never seen so much grub before, where the hell has all this come from?" We all contributed Jack," Mum said proudly, "And the parish council doubled what we collected, the whole town's.
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