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He gets told off and the teacher then asks for a word beginning with “B”. Jenny says “Bollocks”. Again she gets told off. The teacher decides to leave out “C” for obvious reasons and asks for a word beginning with “D”. Johnny calls out “Dwarf”. The teacher congratulates him and asks what a Dwarf is. Johnny replies “A short arsed cunt with massive bollocks and a cock that touches the floor!”A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing. St. Peter greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said “I don’t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?” St. Peter replied “Well, I’ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and. I chose a dark blonde page boy wig and a mid thigh rain coat to finish my ensemble. I finished my make up with shaky hands, lubed up and decided that I needed a stiff G&T before I left.I had already decided that around 9pm was the most optimum time, so I drove having put on a pair of flat shoes for the 10 minute drive. The place I was going was a nature reserve, known as a dogging spot with 2 car parks. I chose the one that was a few hundred yards past the first one and drove in and parked. I decided to have a cigarette and compose myself and then looked around. There were 3 cars already there but I couldn't see anyone or any activity. After a nail biting 10 minutes I thought I have driven here dressed for fun so I may as well be proactive. I put my high heels back on, opened the door and stepped out and still with the door opened and the light showing I took my coat off, opened my handbag and lit another cigarette. I then walked towards a path that was about 50 yards away and in.
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